FEAR

When my husband was in middle school he was diagnosed with fibrous dysplasia, which is an uncommon bone disease. Most cases show this disease is found in the arms and legs, however my husband's was on his skull behind his left eye. Through his middle school and high school years he went through 4 sinus surgeries, 1 head/skull surgery and 2 reconstructive skull surgeries. I was blessed to get to go with him on his last skull surgery in February of 2003. Seeing him go through that much pain and agony killed me inside. I didn't leave his hospital room at all that weekend and even slept in the chair in his room. I got to spoon feed him his jello and ice cream and as a man I know it was hard for him to have me watch him at this low point of his life. I remember a few months after the last surgery he told me that he was surprised that I stuck around because he thought the surgery would have scared me away. I reminded him how much I love him and would take care of him no matter what.

That was 5 1/2 years ago and for the past 10 days my husband has had a severe headache that he just can't get rid of. He has taken Tylenol, Ibuprofen, Advil, loratabs...everything to get rid of his headache, but nothing seemed to help him. I have been so worried at this point that I made a Dr.s appt for him this week in which they ordered a CAT scan of his head. For the past few days I have done nothing but fear the worst. What if the tumor was back? What if he has to go through surgery again? We have 2 kids and I love and depend on him sooo much, there's no way God can take him now!

Well, around lunch time today he was at work when he got very dizzy and his ears began ringing very badly and he got another bad headache. So I called the Dr.'s to see if they have gotten the results back from his CT scan like they said they would today. They said a Dr was not in the office and we wouldn't know anything until Monday. We can't wait till Monday...this is precious time we could be wasting if his tumor was back and I was not going to let that happen. I asked if they could send his cat scan to another office to review it so we can know today why he has had a headache for 10 days that would not go away. They said they would fax them over to the Augusta office and call his in a few hours. Well, 3 hours had gone by and my husband had already gone home to try to sleep off the headache. All I could do was pace around my store at work worrying about him at home by himself sleeping with his current condition. I finally decided to leave early to make sure he was OK. The feeling I had on my way home was horrible! I was so upset thinking that I could be walking into my house to find out I am a widow! I was in tears on my way home I was that upset thinking what if something happens before the drs find it?

So after calling and calling the drs office the Dr finally called me back 5 hours later!!!!! He left a message and this is what he said... "Andrea, this is Dr. Raush. We have the CT scan results on Blake and wanted to let you know what we found on the scan. I need you can call me back as soon as you can."

I am so scared at this point....my hands were shaking, my face was hot and red, my heart was pounding and I saw the same fear in my husbands face. After 2 minutes of being too scared to call the dr I finally called him back.........

He said that the CAT scan showed that Blake had a sever sinus infection that has clogged all of his sinus and is causing pressure which is causing the headache and dizziness. He kept talking and talking and I was trying to listen to what he was saying at the same time thanking God his tumor did not come back. He prescribed him antibiotics, a steroid pill, loratabs and said to get Afrin off the shelf too. When we got to the pharmacy the antibiotic was 50 bucks!!! I made them check to make sure they had the correct insurance on file and they did. The pharmacist said that the drug is originally $450! It is the highest antibiotic on the market and is rarely prescribed by any Dr. Thank god for health insurance!! lol The Dr and pharmacist specifically told Blake not to use the Afrin for more then a few days because it can damage the inside of his nose. They said that most people become addicted to the Afrin that they feel as if they cannot breath without the Afrin spray.

I am so thankful that his headaches are from his sinus'. The feelings I went through today and the thoughts of loosing my husband was horrifying! I could not imagine loosing him. He is a wonderful husband, an amazing father to our children and my best friend. As selfish as it sounds....I am just not ready to give him up yet to the pearly white gates.

whew...this one was a long one! lol

To learn more about this bone disease you can visit:
http://www.fibrousdysplasia.org/